Logan Howell Ferons

It's been quite some time since I last posted on my blog. I figured now is a pretty pretty good time to post again. I like to write about my experience in labor/delivery and recovery so that I will remember and my kids will have something to read back on :)

Since this was baby number 2, I was feeling pretty confident about how things were going to go during my pregnancy and for my labor and delivery. I had high expectations that I would go into labor early and produce a child that was small in size, like my last one. I should have known that God likes to do the opposite sometimes just to remind you who is really in charge :)

I was due Tue, Oct 21st. but the Tuesday before that I went into labor early in the morning. I was sure to do what all the doctors say to do: time contractions and time the space between. Contractions started coming every 4-5 minutes apart and lasting 1.5-2minutes long. After about 3 hours they picked up to be every 1-2minutes lasting 1.5-2 minutes long. This is when I called my doctor and the on-call lady told me to go ahead and come into the hospital. YAY! Baby is coming! We grabbed our pre-packed hospital bags and took Hailey over to a friends house (this was at 4:30am). We drove to the hospital, checked in, and got settled... then the contractions went away. The hospital was pretty full and so around 8am they came and sent me home and told me to come back when the contractions do... well they never did. Being sent home from the hospital is like the walk of shame!!! No baby today.

So then my due date comes a week later... and goes without event. So we schedule to be induced on Thursday, Oct 23rd. My mom came to our house the night before to stay with Hailey and see her off to preschool in the morning and then take her back to their house for the weekend. So Ryan and I got to go out to dinner together that night. The next morning we got up really early and headed to the hospital- again. They set us all up in our room and hooked me up to monitors and IVs. Around 8am they finally started the pitocin drip. It was a really small dose but it was all I needed to kick start labor in the pants! Around 10:30 I started feeling the contractions to be strong enough to require some of that nice juice to make it all go away :) I got my epidural around 10:45am and things were smooth sailing. I napped a bit and joked and laughed with Ryan. My nurse came in frequently to check my dilation and each time I was progressing more and more. She kept sounding surprised and saying, "oh yea, we're gonna have a baby by lunch!" I was skeptical. Finally around 11:30 she called my doctor and told him to hurry up and get here or else he was going to miss it! My doctor high-tailed it into the hospital and got there in time to rest a minute or two on the couch, grab a bagel, and then deliver my baby! I started pushing right around 12:15 and my sweet baby boy was born at 12:35pm. He was 8lbs 10ounces and 21 inches long (much bigger than his older sister who was 6lbs 11ounces). We named him Logan Howell Ferons (Howell is my mother's maiden name).

I did not anticipate it going so quickly! But my whole experience was perfect! It was just me, Ryan, my nurse, the baby nurse, and my doctor. It was such a calm and relaxing environment and even though it went quickly- nothing felt rushed. And as I pushed my second child into this world I was overcome with love for him and for my husband who also may have had a tear or two in his eyes (although he would probably deny it  :P ) What a miracle it is to grow a human being inside me for 40 weeks and then to labor with him into this world. God was with me every step of the way and I felt His love for me and my sweet little angel as I watched them pull him up and onto my stomach and heard his tiny cries for the first time. And saw his tiny fists and tiny toes for the first time. And even now, I see God's love every time I look at my son and my daughter. They are the most beautiful things I have ever created.

It's amazing the amount we are willing to sacrifice for these tiny humans. I continue to feel the pains of labor and delivery as my body heals. I continue to feel the pains of my body adjusting to feeding and caring for another human being. But each pain is a reminder of my love for him and is just a tiny glimps of my God and my Savior's love for me and my family. I have been so blessed these last 4 years to have married the best man in the world and to have had two beautiful children with him. I truly couldn't ask for more.

Christmas 2013

Well Christmas was a success! Despite our failed attempts at secrecy! Hailey had a BLAST opening presents, trying on new clothes, playing with new toys, reading new books etc!

Her own rendition of the Nativity Scene

She wouldn't hold still long enough for me to get a good picture of her in her santa cape and hat!

Grandpa John showing her how to play guitar!

Aunt Elise showing her how to use one of her new toys!

Me, Hailey, and Ryan Christmas morning!

My sister Brenna and my mom 

Bubble Wrap is ALWAYS more exciting than whatever it was wrapped around!

Thank you Grandma/pa Ferons!

Best Christmas ever for my mom! :)

the living room is trashed, but everyone is happy!

Hailey got these jammies brand new LAST chrismas! She still hasn't grown out of them...

New jammies and new sweater!

My Dad, and sisters Elise and Brooke

Opening presents!

Merry Christmas everyone! And a happy new year! Can't wait to see what the new year will bring for our family and yours! 

Ps- we did also spend a few days in NY visiting my cousins after Christmas and before New Years, but didn't seem to take any photos... Shameful.

Leading Up To Christmas

Christmas came and went so quickly! I can hardly believe it's already 2014! I used to think that time moved so slowly when I was younger and now, the older I get, the faster time travels! Anyone else feel the same?

I LOVE Christmas time! If my husband would let me, I would start decorating before Thanksgiving! :) I know, I know- it's a heinous crime! It's not like I have a whole lot of decorations to put up anyway. It took me less than an hour, haha. 

But it looked pretty cute for our humble abode! 

I didn't want to buy an expensive wreath for our front door, so I thought it'd be fun for Hailey and I to make one together :) We invited her bestie, Breckin, over to paint with her. They had SO much fun! 

(Finished Products: Hand Print wreath with finger poked berries and a hand-slid snowman with melting features!)

We also made a cotton ball Santa picture for decoration! Hailey was super proud of it! I put the glue down, she pressed the cotton ball on. Then she colored in the outlines of santa, holly, and trees. 

Another fun Christmas activity was rolling Hailey up in my Christmas Quilt and tossing her on the couch. She thought that was the grandest fun ever! 

(the dry air sure makes her hair stand on end! also, check out those cute toes!)

Ryan and I always struggle to keep our gifts a secret from each other. This year we thought we had each other good! I got Ryan a finger board (a rock climbers' door hang/pull up bar) that he's been wanting for awhile now. I was really careful. I used a credit card he wouldn't look at and placed the order when he wasn't around and everything. Well it just so happened to be delivered on the ONE night of the week that I was gone and he was home! And OF COURSE the box was clear about its contents.

I was so upset until one evening, 2 minutes after Ryan left to go to a meeting, THIS was delivered! Muahahhaha! I guess we are not as sneaky as we thought we were!

Thank You Ryan, and Mom&Dad Ferons!

This year, we spent Christmas with my family down in Burke, VA. We spent a few days with them raking leaves, opening presents, eating yummy foods, playing fun games, and making great memories! Here are a few documented moments before Christmas:

My sisters Elise (10) and Brooke (7)

Me and my sisters, Elise (10), Brooke (7), Sydney (18), me, and Brenna (16)

(Hailey, trying to figure out how to climb the tree)

(she just wanted to clean the leaves)

My dad and my sister Brooke

Ryan got to open a present early because he needed it for a scouting campout that he was going on the weekend before Christmas. Ryan is in a leadership position at our church that works with the scouts, therefore he must campout with them too (which he was pretty excited about)!

Thank You to Mom and Dad Ferons for his most excellent Christmas present! He loves it!

Potty Talk

So far there have been 2 times in my life when I felt tested beyond my limits. The first was adjusting to having a new born. The second time was the first week o two of potty training. I feel like my entire life has lead up to this moment. I have been preparing all along for the experience of potty training an independent and willful child. It has been very eye opening and very frustrating.

We decided a month ago that we were going to go cold-turkey from diapers to big girl underwear. I don't know how people can say that the 3 Day Boot Camp method works... I am calling BS. It took us almost 2 weeks to finally have break throughs. And of course, I understand that every kid is different... but THREE DAYS? Really?? No. Not Possible. End of Rant.

So anyway, needless to say, it's been a rough couple of weeks. I have cried, screamed, stomped my foot and pulled a little bit of hair out each day. I am now a withered, hoarse, club-footed, bald woman who just wants a day without cleaning urine and feces. And here is where we get to the personal stuff. Everyone has experiences in their lives that make them question who they are, what they want to be/do with their lives, and if they are good enough. Well ladies and gents... this was one of those times for me. I began feeling very defeated and worthless. I tried so hard every day to teach her and help her to understand. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. I took her to the toilet every 15-20 minutes. I reminded her of the things to say when she feels she needs to use the bathroom, over and over and over again. I tried to make her successes the most exciting and loving moments possible! Yet, I still ended up cleaning and doing laundry 10x more than usual... plus all the tears, stomping, yelling, pleading, etc, etc, etc. 

I felt as though I was becoming invisible. As if I was disappearing into a monotonous and repetitive role that any trained monkey could do. I found myself feeling very unhappy with myself, with my role, with my family, and with the task at hand. I could feel the tendrils of Satan's grasp tugging at me with all their might! I was overwhelmed, desperate, and defeated. Defeated by life and my motherhood. 

My poor husband tried so hard to be supportive and helpful in any ways that he could. But I was still feeling very alone. So Ryan gave me a night off. He sent me to the mall with a good friend and gave me the little escape that I needed to collect myself and just be me. I was so thankful for that. We later had a very long and personal conversation about what I was going through. And something he said has really stuck with me. He asked me a bunch of questions about why I thought I was feeling this way and if I thought there were good solutions or not, etc. But as I told him of my feelings of being an inept mom, he asked me, "Well, do you think anyone else would be willing to do anything for Hailey or love her more than you?" As I thought about his question, I realized that the answer was no. There isn't a single person in this world (other than Ryan) that would be willing to do ANYTHING for Hailey or that would love her as much as I do. 

It doesn't matter if I sometimes make mistakes or am still learning to be the best mom that I can be. What matters is that I am doing what the Lord wants me to be doing, and that is being Hailey's mother- which currently includes potty training. My love for Hailey has no bounds or limits. When I realized this obvious fact and thought more about it, all my unhappiness and frustration crumbled away. I felt so liberated by this simple fact that I am the only one willing to do anything for this sweet daughter of God and that is exactly by task and my stewardship that has been given me for this life here on earth. And I am so blessed and so grateful!!! 

The very next day Hailey only had one accident the entire day! It was my tender mercy from God. And since then, Hailey has only had accidents every couple of days, but she is mostly getting this training down! Her sweet spirit and her cute little body are the most important thing in my life for me to be focusing on. Even if my days get monotonous and frustrating at times. I am the best person for this job, and my Father in Heaven knew that when He sent Hailey to me, and I couldn't be more grateful!

(...making her way to the toilet. she may have momentarily forgot that the pants aren't supposed to come down until AFTER she gets to the bathroom! lol)

(she spent the first two weeks wearing big t-shirts like this one to help minimize the clean ups from accidents) 

(this is what becomes of us for being cooped up in our home for days on end trying to get this training this down!)

Poison Frickin' Ivy

Okay, so most of you know by now my struggles with Poison Ivy this last couple months... Well, in case you didn't know or were wondering... it's still not over!

It all began on September 6th at 10:20am when I took my daughter to the outdoor Outlet Mall here in Leesburg, VA. I was only planning on being there 30 min! I had a $10 off coupon for Carter's to get a dress for my daughter. An easy in and out! Well, on my way to the store we passed one of those machines the kids like to rid for quarters. Well I'd used up all my quarters the previous week for her and had none this time. So, to distract her, I gave her my keys to hold on to... I know, I know- that was my first mistake! Well, somewhere between the car and the Carter's store (only about 200 yards) Hailey lost my keys and I didn't notice. It wasn't until we got back to the car to leave that I realized they were gone! You can all probably relate to the "sinking gut" feeling and the tangible rise in blood pressure as you run through all the places you'd seen it last and realizing that you have NO CLUE where it is! Yea... that was me. I literally RAN back to the spot where I gave Hailey my keys and spent the next 5 hours searching up and down the walk ways between that spot and Carters.

There are three walkways at the mall and they are separated by manicured bushes, flowers, plants, and grass. I practically dug through all these plants in search for my keys. I never found them... we had to have our car towed and re-keyed ($300!!!.. ridiculous!) But I did come home with something unexpected! Poison Ivy. All over my arms and face. But wouldn't you know it- I am HIGHLY allergic to poison ivy! I always have been, and I avoid it like the plague! So I avoid touching anything green. But while I was at the mall there was a gardener there pruning and manicuring, so I felt comfortable sticking my arms in their bushes. Mistake #2. Never trust anything green!

less than 24 hours from the time I came into contact at the mall withe poison ivy

swollen eye

puss pocket

eye and forehead

so gross

puke.

I went to the doctor as soon as I could and they said it was the worst case of Poison Ivy they'd seen in a long time! My arms became a large bubbling sack of poison and puss. It was disgusting and extremely painful and itchy all at once. The doctor put me on Prednizone and the poison ivy cleared up in about a week and a half (thankfully), but not without some major scarring! As soon as the prednizone dose was over, I broke out into what I thought was Hives... turns out it's an acute dermatitis that is a systemic reaction to the poison ivy. Apparently poison ivy is a toxin that can sit in your system for quite some time. So they put me back on prednizone to clear up the rash. Well once again, as soon as the dose was over, the rash came back!

So this time they gave me a steroid shot and another dose of prednizone, but I reacted poorly to the shot and went into vasodilation and almost passed out in the office! It was horrible! It took me 2 hours to get back to normal and finally get out of the doctors office! And again, once the dose was over, the rash came back! So it was all for nothing. Now, here I am almost 2 months later- still covered in rash and scars and tired of being on Prednizone. I may have to just wait this out and let my body do it's work... thoughts?

Well I sent a complaint to the mall and they sent my claim on to the lawn care company who has since said that it's not their fault and they refuse my claim.... Not sure that's fair considering they allowed the poison ivy to grow- maybe not on purpose, but nonetheless. And I've spent over $500 in medical bills, prescriptions, and bandages and lotions/creams etc. And it's STILL not over! Shouldn't they be responsible for these costs they have cost me?

Do I pursue? I don't even know how to go on from here... or do we just drop it and cut our HUGE losses? Ugg. Meanwhile I am trying to live stress-free to allow my immune system to do it's job. Lots of napping and oatmeal bathing! :) We'll see how long I can keep it up before I have to go back to the doctors.

almost healed up

the scar

only half the medication i've had in the last 2 months

hard to see, but there is a rash on top of the scar- that was two days ago.